Veronica Beard – a designer I am currently loving

Hi all! Sorry for the hiatus, lots of things going on and not all of it good. I have officially concluded (at 39) that I am indeed middle aged. Officially. Go ahead and laugh. Do you now find that at a certain stage you are dealing more and more with things that you ever even thought of in your late 20s and 30s? And I mean more that a few grey hairs and wrinkles. See, those are fixable. The rest of it is tougher….

VB brand popped up oh I think 6 or so years ago, 2 sisters collaborating. I thought they were rather boring and pricey at first with lots of flowy balloon sleeves and other oddities. Then I saw this jacket on Instagram and fell in love. Still really pricey though tear…. LOVE the fit and lace detail. How good would this be even with my black leggings at pick up? 🙂

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Intermix $695

I also liked this embellished Levi utility jacket, which is a lot more budget friendly at $178 in Bloomingdales but not sure I can pull this look off….

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I saw this dress at Veronica Beard’s Instagram feed. Swoon.

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Neiman Marcus $495

This dress covers up your oysters and lobster roll dinner with the rouching and the tie in the middle and trust me this color is so flattering, especially if you manage to get some tan as well.

So, tell me, which designers have caught your eye lately? Any could sources for casual summer dresses?

xo

h

Should you dress your age?

If I had a dollar each time I get asked that, I would, you know, have a LOT of dollars. What does that mean exactly? As we approach, let’s say, 50, will there be a manual of Mature Clothing with long hair and short skirts crossed out and handy Talbots and Chico’s catalogue attached? Btw, not throwing shade at Talbots here, haven’t been in ages (or maybe ever) but they had some great flats and jackets in their latest catalogue that still comes to mrs we bought the house from.

May I present the first lady of France? 64, ladies, 64. Brigitte Macron.

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Absolutely stunning.

So, the rules. I don’t think you should cut your hair off when you become a mother. And I don’t think that skirts should show up on Cape Cod vacations. And I always always always say wear things that fit you, show off one body part, if you do smoky eyes, do a nude lip and simple eye with red lip. If you feel like huge pom pom earrings (pom pom anything is so trendy this spring/summer) look silly on you, get a top with little pom trim or beach bag with it. Adjust and modify. Take care of your skin and hair and value quality over quantity. If there is one rule to go buy it’s this: if it looks good on you and fits you, wear it!

I am not even going to throw Christy Brinkley at you, or Diane Sawyer. Here’s my gorgeous friend Vera. I think she is in her late 60s but am not sure anymore! She looks so good.

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This will be me. Don’t tell Gary.

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Less radical but equally gorgeous options.

What do you think?

x

-haiku

Who Do You Think You Are?

One of the toughest aspects of my job is to make a client see her body as it is, accept it and then dress to flatter the body not the ideal of it. We are so used to zeroing in on our faults, imaginary or real (but even the real is exaggerated in our heads) that we cannot see ourselves clearly. And thus we spend years if not decades trying to look better without realizing that we do. I always ask about style idols and I do get Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie a lot. However, its important to realize that your body type dictates the style decisions. You may like Angelina Jolie but you might not look great in similar clothes. It may not be the best you. It’s human to want something different, the grass is always greener on the other side, but its time and energy waisted and ultimately, you’ll be disappointed and make some bad decisions clothes wise. I love J Lo, we’re the same heights but sadly these curves I do not have.

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Photo: E!Online

That led me to think: do we think, as we approach our midlife, that our best ass and hair are ahead of us if we really, I mean reaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy work at it or is it all downhill from here? I am of the former thought, delusionally maybe, but I am not sure if I ever will get there. And maybe that’s ok, the worst would be to let go and not care at all, right? But what if your idea of your best self is completely and utterly unattainable? See, one thing I wish I knew in my 20s, hell, in my 30s even (am 39 now, thank you very much) is that I did look good. My hair (well, there were some regrettable moments but moving on) did look amazing and so did my body. But I was forever trying to be more and thus never really stopped to smell the roses. Inherent insecurities of being a woman? Maybe. But as the dust settles on my last year as 30 something, I’ve come to accept myself more than I ever have. I am trying to look the best me I can be. But how do you tell someone that they ought to give up that Angelina Jolie dream because that ain’t gonna happen BUT that their reality, their bodies, their looks are beautiful. Not in a Loreal ad kind of way, not in mom will always love you as you are, but that there really really is something totally awesome about your looks? I have tried brutal honest, even cursing (when one of my clients who is so so so gorgeous I don’t like seeing her as I will always feel bad about myself tells me she doesnt like wearing short dresses because she doesn’t like her legs. Ugh.

Do me a favor if you are nodding along at all, look at photos of yourself even 5 years ago. Now do you not think that you looked good, much better than you thought? Are you not wistful for the body you never appreciated? I am!

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So, should we meet randomly, don’t be shocked or, worse, offended, if I tell you I like you arms, calves (just told that to a woman at Costco) or boobs. a) because i mean it and b) its totally objective, c) you should think that too because we all know I am rarely wrong about these things and D) we should complement each other, woman to woman, without any pretext. Because maybe then, just maybe, we let go of all of our preconceived notions of what we should do/be/look like to be beautiful and truly come to realize that hey, I don’t look half bad. Wink.

x

-haiku aka Mother Theresa of Fashion and Beauty

Sexy Bride Look Is Out

Thank God! Hated it. Absolutely hated it when women with good sense of style and great bodies decided to opt of way too revealing gowns for their wedding ceremonies. We have Halloween for that! Or wedding night!

Ines Di Santo; Monique Lhuillier. Photos: the Knot

On TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress” half the brides come looking for Pnina Torrei at Kleinfeld. Beading, corsets, lace, bustiers, cutouts to the tune of $4000 – $12,000 per dress. I hate to be the dad walking a daughter down the isle looking like she could drop the skirt and be ready for Playboy Mansion. Again, great detail and very pretty but so not for the wedding. I mean, do the groomsmen and Uncle Bob need to know exactly what the groom will be getting later on in the night? I think NOT!!!!!

Photos from brides.com, pinterest

So when NYT Style section featured this article on the cover of Sunday Style, I breathed a sigh of relief. Gorgeous. Just beyond beyond gorgeous. Here are a few of pics from 2017 spring runways: beautiful, elegant, feminine. Bridal.

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Angel Sanchez

Costarellos

Costarellos

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Naeem Khan

Peter Langner

Peter Langner

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Improvement, non? Don’t think I could talk Gary into vow renewal but would love to wear any of these dresses.

x

-haiku

Are We Mean Mommies?

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Yesterday I came across an article discussing the mean mommie phenomena which was really interesting. The article was driven by a recent reaction to poor Hillary Duff having posted a picture of her kissing her 4 year old son on his lips at Disney world. Apparently it’s child abuse in the eyes of many, like 8000 comments within a day. I have sleep issues, so I always wonder who the efff has time and energy to care about these things let alone comment? Its none of your business and I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong in kissing your child on the lips.

The article is called Bully Moms and it makes a few interesting points:

  • our own anxieties are driving our criticism, basically if you put someone down you in comparison look better. all these decision to be made that DEFINE us and also DIVIDE us
  • living away from extended family, less help, smaller support system and fewer people to ask advice from
  • social media and internet in general: these perfect Pinterest moms and Instagrammable moments; so much information that instead of helping it confuses more and all these trolls with access to the keyboard and plenty of criticism

Motherhood can be incredibly isolating and you pretty much never get to feel like you got this. Kids are always growing and changing, there’s always a stage and no one kid is the same. The stress of suburban life and motherhood seems to bring out the worst insecurities and bring about emotional regress like no other. Mom-shaming and female rivalry is nothing new of course but it does seem to reach new lows. I spoke at a party with a male therapist who practices in Fairfield County and he said that majority of his clients are actually women who are having problems with mom-bullies. Quick search on internet paints a really horrifying picture: moms who have been completely ostracized and excluded from street cook outs, kid birthday parties, book clubs. Some have moved to a different street or town or state because it got that bad. It’s crazy.

It’s hard not to be influenced by that in our quest to the best mom you can be: to make sure our children our well rounded, athletic, artistic, well dressed and behaved, eating the healthiest organic food we can get, etc. While many bloggers advocate essentially not talking to other moms at schools and extracurricular events, I wouldn’t. Yes, there are some mean moms out there. But there are also incredibly terrific moms out there who might be very reserved and seem stand offish even but it might be because they have been burned once or twice. I think in life you have to put yourself out there, keep your wits about you and go with your gut. I have met plenty of mean moms but I’ve also met some of my dearest friends through my kids and they mean the world to me. My recommendation is this and feel free to apply this to pretty much any situation: basically, don’t be an ass and always say hello.

x

-haiku